How to Deal with Difficult People
I often get questions from leaders and organizations about how to deal with difficult people. The answer is multifaceted but it often comes down to looking at your own reaction, trying to understand the other person and creating an atmosphere where you can actually connect with the “difficult” person.
I’m always a big fan of practicing positive behaviors, the following ideas will help you have an easier time dealing with difficult people:
- Take a deep breath or do something to calm yourself down.
- Realize that difficult people aren’t difficult because of you.
- Don’t take difficult people’s behavior personally.
- Invite the person to talk at a mutually beneficial time.
- Make sure there are no interruptions and that the atmosphere is calm.
- Try to determine what is going on together.
- Listen, listen, listen.
- Do some more listening.
- Did I mention listening?
- Work together to find ways to move forward.
You have a great deal of control over how you react to difficult people. It’s amazing how much easier you can make interactions when you let go of your personal hurts and grievances and just listen to the other person. Listening doesn’t cost you anything and you actually create an opportunity to figure out what’s really going on.
The big mistake we most often make is that we let the difficult person hook us into a confrontation. We then end up trying to defend ourselves or win an argument. In cases like this the difficult person has roped you into conflict and you have gone along willingly.
Try the ideas we’ve mentioned here and take yourself out of the equation by not feeding into the difficult behavior. Learn about the person and try your best to find out what makes them behave the way they do, you might be amazed at what you find out. What other tips do you have to deal with difficult people in the workplace?
Take care,
Guy
Leadership Training and HR Training
